{"id":990,"date":"2012-04-18T21:22:54","date_gmt":"2012-04-18T10:22:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crazyregcomics.com\/?p=990"},"modified":"2015-05-24T23:50:39","modified_gmt":"2015-05-24T12:50:39","slug":"poopworks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crazyregcomics.com\/index.php\/poopworks\/","title":{"rendered":"Poopworks"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a tale from the dark brown depths of my past.<\/em>
\nIt is about a man who did things leaving me feeling aghast.<\/em><\/p>\n

Years ago I had a summer job as a plumber.<\/em>
\nMy partner was this very man, oh it was a bummer!<\/em><\/p>\n

While on the job replacing kitchen sink pipes,<\/em>
\nHe would leave his calling card… stinky brown wipes!<\/em><\/p>\n

Hours later the customer would be preparing dinner,<\/em>
\nSlaving away in that kitchen, cooking a real prize winner.<\/em><\/p>\n

She’d turn on her new sink taps to receive fresh water, <\/em>
\nOnly to be bombarded by a barrage of compacted squater!<\/em><\/p>\n

He would laugh and brag about his antics over the lunch break, <\/em>
\nRecalling a time he left a warm gift in an oven… a turd cake!<\/em><\/p>\n

To his credit he had a wealth of knowledge on how pipes work.<\/em>
\nHe’d use this to play cruel tricks showing he was a real jerk.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’d imagine him in his own time and the shit he must pull.<\/em>
\nPrank after prank his bowel must have always been full.<\/em><\/p>\n

We once came to blows, I feared he was out of his mind.<\/em>
\nPoohaps it was just an evil force possessing his behind?<\/em><\/p>\n

“CUP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER! STEAMER INCOMING!”<\/em>
\nI could see his grip on sanity was no longer forthcoming.<\/em><\/p>\n

I turned and fled the scene. With fear I looked back in disgust.<\/em>
\nFlushing rage, into his back pockets both his arms thrust!<\/em><\/p>\n

Frothing at the mouth and pants, he spat words of hate.<\/em>
\nRevealing his hands and poised to launch, I saw my fate.<\/em><\/p>\n

I spied with my big brown eye, something to save my hide.<\/em>
\nThough was it too late? He had released\u00a0the brown tide!<\/em><\/p>\n

His spinning glob of dung sped through the air, it’s aim true!<\/em>
\nI grabbed a plumbing pipe, bent in the middle shaped like\u00a0the letter U!<\/em><\/p>\n

The mound of manure shot directly into the pipe hole!<\/em>
\nHolding the pipe steady by the curve, I had fine control.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bursting forth from the other end, the shooting shit spat!<\/em>
\nHorror filled his face as he received the incoming scat!<\/em><\/p>\n

Impacting into his mass, the excrement exploded with a boom.<\/em>
\nFecal flew in all directions, his body nothing more but stinky fumes.<\/em><\/p>\n

I can only assume he was indeed possessed on some twisted brown level.<\/em>
\nStill today I poonder, was he evil rectal incarnate? The epitome shit devil?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Pooem dedicated to Mario!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a tale from the dark brown depths of my past. It is about a man who did things leaving me feeling aghast. Years ago I had a summer job as a plumber. My partner was this very man, oh it was a bummer! 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